Prioritizing Love

Matthew 10: 37-42

Jesus said to his apostles: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. “Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me. Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man’s reward. And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because the little one is a disciple—amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

Discussion Questions:

1. When do you feel most pulled between your relationship with God and your responsibilities to family or others? In what ways have you experienced these competing priorities becoming more connected rather than opposed?
2. When have you experienced loving another person as a “dying to self”? In what ways has loving another person helped you discover your truest self?
3. Jesus says, “Whoever receives you receives me.” In your everyday life, how do you hope others experience Christ through you?
4. When you hear the phrase “God’s reward,” what comes to mind? Has your understanding of that changed over the years?
5. Jesus speaks of rewards for welcoming prophets, righteous people, and even giving a cup of cold water. What do you think God’s rewards look like in ordinary life?

Biblical Context

Margaret Nutting Ralph PHD

We continue to read Jesus’ instructions to his newly named apostles. A disciple must put his or her relationship with Jesus and the Father first; no other relationship, even one with our closest family members, can take priority over our relationship with Jesus.

On occasion people have misinterpreted Jesus’ words in today’s Gospel to mean that one can divest oneself of family responsibility in the name of discipleship. Jesus did not teach his followers to neglect their families. This very subject comes up a little later in Matthew’s Gospel. The Pharisees and scribes are accusing Jesus of breaking the “tradition of the elders” (Matt 15:2). Jesus asks them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said. ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and ‘Whoever curses father or mother shall die.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to father or mother. “Any support you might have had from me is dedicated to God, need not honor his father.” You have nullified the word of God for the sake of your tradition” (Matt 15:3-6).

Jesus is simply teaching that nothing can take precedence over fidelity to Jesus, not persecution, not succumbing to fear, and not family ties or family pressure. When one puts Jesus first, others will be loved too, in Jesus’ name.

Just as the disciples may not choose family over Jesus they may not choose self over Jesus. To deny oneself will involve suffering but will end, not in losing self, but in finding self: ” … and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” To find oneself one must be willing to take up the cross: “… and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.

Jesus then goes on to describe the rewards that will belong to those who receive a person because that person is a disciple of Christ. As Matthew’s contemporaries (and we) hear Jesus’ description, they could well picture themselves as both receiving and offering such welcome. Again, Jesus expects hospitality to be extended to all, not just to those of distinction. Many might be more inclined to welcome a prophet or a righteous person who is greatly respected in the community than to welcome a poor or disenfranchised person. However, Jesus promises rewards to any who welcome the least little one simply by giving that person a cup of cold water. Such hospitality to disciples is tantamount to offering the same kindness to Jesus and even to God the Father: “Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

The disciples must put Jesus first because their mission is identical to the mission that Jesus has received from the Father. In putting Jesus first the disciples will not love others, including family members, less. In fact, they will love them more.

A Genuine Simplicity

Reflection
Sr. Jeremy Hall OSB

An interior genuine simplicity, rooted in single-heartedness, an all-embracing focus on the will of God his Father, overflowed into and characterized all Jesus did. He invited followers with no promises, healed and cured with no great showmanship, faced temptation directly with neither self-pity nor compromise, prayed simply and from his heart, spoke forthrightly to other people in authority, and talked simply and with great compassion to those who suffered or were in need.

If we disciples today were satisfied with what we need, if we lived more simply, would there not be far fewer people hungry and cold and homeless? If it is not material things or position and power we seek, might it not be something by which we seem especially seduced in our day: self? We hear it on every side – self-identity, self-realization, self-actualization, self-discovery, self-assertion, and self-fulfillment. 

I wonder if Jesus’ answer to today’s convoluted preoccupation with self may not lie in that awesome challenge: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). In recent years I have pondered more and more the saying of Christ in Matthew 10:39: “Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” I understand it this way: Those who seek only themselves bring themselves to ruin, whereas those who bring themselves, that is, the ego self, to naught for me discover who they are. It was by emptying himself that the Lord came to the fullness of who he is for all eternity—the God-man, the deepest bond between the human and the divine. And it is by following the self-emptying Christ that we can come to that fullness of life for which we are destined.

Reflection from Give Us This Day: Jeremy Hall, OSB (1918–2008), was a gifted retreat leader and a member of Saint Benedict’s Monastery in St. Joseph, Minnesota.

Selections from Breaking Open the Lectionary: Lectionary Readings in Their Biblical Context for RCIA, Faith Sharing Groups, and Lectors—Cycle A, by Margaret Nutting Ralph, Copyright © 2007 by Margaret Nutting Ralph. Paulist Press, Inc., New York/Mahwah, NJ. Reprinted by permission of Paulist Press, Inc. www.paulistpress.com.